I have a confession.
I don’t really watch television. I study it.
I could probably find meaning in a piece of dirt if you gave me enough time.
Seriously. While most people are watching a baseball game, I’m over here looking for life lessons. A sitcom becomes a leadership class. A documentary becomes a marketing strategy. And every once in a while, someone says something so simple that my brain starts sprinting in an entirely different direction.
That happened during this year’s Home Run Derby.
Jordan Walker of the St. Louis Cardinals stepped into the batter’s box, and before he ever spoke, I noticed something about him. In fact, I felt it.
He wasn’t rushed. His shoulders weren’t creeping toward his ears. He wasn’t pacing around trying to manufacture confidence. Everything about him looked calm. Present. Comfortable.
Honestly, if someone had muted the television, I would’ve leaned over and whispered, “He’s going to win.”
Not because I know more baseball than everyone else, though I do know my fair share; I knew he was going to win because he looked like someone who trusted his preparation more than the pressure of the moment.
After his round, the interviewer asked what was working. Jordan smiled and said,
“I feel like when I’m relaxed, I’m at my best.”
Photo Credit: The St. Louis American
Friends…
The balloon popped.
Confetti flew.
There may have even been a kazoo!
I paused the television and just sat there smiling.
You know those moments when someone says something that organizes a thought you’ve been carrying around for years? That was one of those moments. Jordan was talking about baseball. My brain had already turned it into a keynote.
We’ve Been Sold the Wrong Story
Somewhere along the way, we started believing pressure was proof we cared.
If we’re stressed, we must be committed.
If we’re overwhelmed, we must be productive.
If we’re exhausted, well… congratulations. You must be successful.
Can I lovingly call bullshit?
I’ve met plenty of successful people who were completely stressed out. I just haven’t met many who were enjoying the life they worked so hard to build.
Somewhere we confused being busy with being valuable. We started wearing exhaustion like it was a designer label instead of a warning light on the dashboard.
Pressure isn’t what creates excellence.
Preparation does.
Perspective does.
Presence does.
Pressure just has a funny way of exposing whatever you’ve been practicing. If you’ve been practicing panic, panic shows up. If you’ve been practicing presence, patience shows up.
I Know Both Versions of Heather
I know exactly what Relaxed Heather looks like.
She’s warm. Curious. Optimistic. She listens more than she talks. She notices things. Creative ideas seem to find her instead of the other way around.
Whether I’m leading my team, speaking on stage, recording a podcast, or sitting across the table from a client, Relaxed Heather doesn’t feel like she has anything to prove. She can simply show up.
Stressed Heather?
Bless her heart.
She furrows her brow like she’s trying to solve world peace before lunch. Creativity quietly leaves the building, and suddenly everything feels harder than it probably needs to.
It’s still me, just running on completely different software. So I’ve learned that when I’m relaxed, I can see solutions and opportunities that stressed Heather never even notices.
That’s why I don’t think relaxation is about taking it easy. I think staying cool is about gaining access to the best parts of yourself.
It Turns Out, Peace Is Contagious Too
One of the biggest surprises over the past few years has been discovering what happens when I stay relaxed while someone else is feeling pressure.
I’ve always admired that character in the movies. You know the one. While everyone else is losing their minds, they’re leaning against the wall with complete confidence. When they finally speak, it’s not the perfect comeback. It’s the perfect perspective. They let wisdom run the show instead of emotion, and somehow they change the entire conversation without raising their voice.
I’ve always wanted to be that person.
Not because I wanted to “win” an argument, but because I wanted to leave a situation knowing I had stayed true to myself. There haven’t been many conflicts in my life, but whenever one did come along, I always hoped I’d be the person who could stay grounded while everything around me felt chaotic.
I don’t have to hope anymore.
Now, when someone is rushing me, frustrated, or trying to force an answer before I’m ready to give one, I don’t feel the same pressure to match their energy. I can listen. I can breathe. I can think before I respond.
And something fascinating happens.
Sometimes they’ll keep talking until they discover the answer themselves. Sometimes the conversation naturally softens. Sometimes nothing changes except me.
And? That’s enough.
I get to leave knowing I didn’t abandon myself in the middle of the moment.
I’ve also learned that I don’t have to volunteer for every emergency. Just because someone else is operating from urgency doesn’t mean I have to join them there.
That’s a sentence I wish someone had taught me years ago.
The Holidays Are Already Stretching
As I write this, August is giving us one last deep breath before fall arrives.
School schedules are warming up in the bullpen. Conferences are checking into hotels. Pumpkin spice has somehow already entered the chat. And if you listen closely, you can almost hear the holidays stretching in the hallway.
You and I both know what’s coming.
The calendar starts filling itself. Someone asks if you’re free next Thursday, and somehow you’re booked until November.
The pace is about to pick up. That part isn’t totally optional. What is optional is deciding how you’re going to show up for it.
Five Minutes Can Change a Day
Learning to stay relaxed didn’t happen overnight.
It happened one choice at a time. So in 2022 when stress had become such a constant companion that I knew something had to change, I stopped carrying the whole week around in my head and started asking myself, “What’s mine to do over the next hour?”
That small shift changed everything.
It changed how I lead.
How I negotiate.
How I make decisions.
It even changed how I drive.
True story!
There was a time when someone tailgating me would’ve received a full theatrical performance from inside my Jeep. I would’ve been launching energetic daggers through the windshield like somehow they could feel them.
Now?
Brother, if getting around me is going to improve your Tuesday that much, have at it. I’ll wave as you go by.
Turns out I don’t have to carry someone else’s urgency, which is surprisingly freeing.
So here’s my invitation, for five minutes…
no phone.
no email.
no scrolling.
Just enough quiet to remember what your own thoughts sound like.
Know this: peace compounds. One quiet moment becomes another. Eventually, you stop visiting peace, and start living from it.
Bend. Don’t Break.
I’ve thought about Jordan Walker’s interview more times than I care to admit because he reminded me what confidence looks like, real deal, 3D, in the moment.
Cool isn’t loud.
Cool isn’t frantic.
Cool doesn’t need everyone else to believe in you before you believe in yourself.
Maybe that’s why I knew, from his very first swing, that he was going to have a great night. It wasn’t just his mechanics. It was his mindset. He trusted his preparation. He stayed present. Then he let his ability do what it was trained to do.
I think that’s what we’re all trying to learn.
Whether you’re leading a company, raising a family, walking into a difficult conversation, or chasing a dream that’s been sitting on your heart for years, life is going to keep throwing pitches.
Some are right down the middle. Some curve. Some hit you square in the ego.
Welcome to being alive!
Our job isn’t to control every pitch. Our job is to keep showing up relaxed enough to meet whatever comes next.
That’s why I believe relaxed is a power position. Because relaxed people don’t abandon themselves in the middle of it.
They bend.
They adapt.
They recover.
They stay in the game.
So as fall begins picking up speed, I hope you’ll remember a young baseball player with relaxed shoulders standing in the batter’s box. He wasn’t trying to control the crowd, the cameras, or the outcome. He was honoring the best version of himself by staying relaxed enough to launch yet another 400’ dinger.
Maybe that’s the game all of us are really playing–trusting yourself enough to loosen your grip.
Calm is a competitive advantage.
Get into it.
Let’s Practice This Together
If you’ve ever thought, “I want to be that calm person,” I have good news.
That’s exactly what we work on in my full-day Stress Less, Serve More workshop.
Together, we take a deeper dive into the CALM System and explore practical ways to quiet the mental noise, regulate pressure, and respond to challenges without abandoning the best version of yourself.
You don’t have to wait for life to become less stressful before you feel more at peace.
You can learn how to create that peace from the inside out.
If your organization is looking for a meaningful professional development experience that equips people with practical tools they can use immediately, I’d love to bring this workshop to your team. Click here to fill out the contact form.